martoo

The mistake I'd committed -- maybe they were part of my very make up,
An inescapable part of my being.
I'd hit rock bottom & I knew it.

***

Everyone just keeps disappearing.
Some things just vanish, as if they were cut away.
Others fade slowly into the mist
And all that remains is a desert.

***

Look at the rain long enough,
With no thoughts in you head,
& you gradually feel your body falling loose,
Shaking free the world's reality.
Rain has the power to hypnotize

***

I felt as if I was choking,
As if everyday I was shrinking
& one day I would disappear completely.

***

The sad truth is that some things can't go backwards.
Once they start going forward,
No matter what you do,
They can't go back to the way they were.
If even one little thing goes awry,
Then that's how it'll stay forever.

***

It was this probably and for awhile 
& the ambiguity inherent in them that made me suffer.

***

She wanted me then. Her heart was open to me.
Yet I held myself back,
Back on the surface of the moon,
Stuck in this lifeless world
& in the end she left me & my life was lost all over again.

***

But I didn't say anything.
Confession would serve no purpose
It would only make us miserable.

***

Only she & I remained.
Everything else was an illusion, papier-mache props on a stage.
What existed, what was real, was the two of us.

(& last but not least!)

***

Maybe you will hurt me again
I don't know how I'll react then.
Or maybe next time I'll hurt you.
No one can promise anyhting.
Neither of us can make any promises.
But I still do love you.